Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face
Just in case you forgot.
Last night's Daily Show was so funny. SO funny. They spent the first half just saying that Cheney had shot a guy in the face as many times as possible. At one point Jon just started laughing because the whole story is tooo funny. I mean, funny except for the dude who got shot.
To round up your conspiracies, currently two are going strong. There are two major questions about this incident: how the hell did it happen, and why did they wait 14 hours to announce it and why was it announced via a private citizen to a small local paper (who was on Keith last night and was super cute and is normally the health and fitness reporter)?
The first question is gonna be tough because only the people there were there, and I think they've said what they want to say. But why the hell was Cheney shooting behind him, when he must have known one of his party was not with him. And how did he not notice the bright orange vest the guy was allegedly wearing? They said that he was in thick brush, but if it was so thick as to obscure safety orange, wouldn't it also have provided a lot of cover from the buckshot?
The only solution that makes any sense (and I'll leave it to other bloggers to break down the official story piece by piece - I'm sure 100 Kos diarist have done it already) is that he was drunk. Most hunting accindnets involve alcohol (via the Bureau of Random Facts I Think I Read Somewhere) and you know, Cheney's had at least two DWI arrests. The Secret Service did not allow the local police to question him, either. So, you know. Do the math. Nonsensical story + history of DWI + hunting accident + a long enough time to sober up before going to the police = ??
The second question is why they waited to release the information for so long and why they chose to release it in the way that they did?
Other than the drying out period speculated above, it seems pretty clear that the guy was pretty seriously injured and the delay overnight was to find out if was gonna live. Let's face it - this would be a totally different story if the guy had died. So that's what the "details coming in through the night" that Scotty McPuffy was talking about must have been. They released it once they knew he was going to make it. Along with this theory is the given that this guy is more seriously injured than they are saying. Because if he's really awake and alert and fine and cracking jokes, why have we not seen him or gotten some kind of statement from him?
Put your tinfoil hats on and tell us any other theories you may have.
Last night's Daily Show was so funny. SO funny. They spent the first half just saying that Cheney had shot a guy in the face as many times as possible. At one point Jon just started laughing because the whole story is tooo funny. I mean, funny except for the dude who got shot.
To round up your conspiracies, currently two are going strong. There are two major questions about this incident: how the hell did it happen, and why did they wait 14 hours to announce it and why was it announced via a private citizen to a small local paper (who was on Keith last night and was super cute and is normally the health and fitness reporter)?
The first question is gonna be tough because only the people there were there, and I think they've said what they want to say. But why the hell was Cheney shooting behind him, when he must have known one of his party was not with him. And how did he not notice the bright orange vest the guy was allegedly wearing? They said that he was in thick brush, but if it was so thick as to obscure safety orange, wouldn't it also have provided a lot of cover from the buckshot?
The only solution that makes any sense (and I'll leave it to other bloggers to break down the official story piece by piece - I'm sure 100 Kos diarist have done it already) is that he was drunk. Most hunting accindnets involve alcohol (via the Bureau of Random Facts I Think I Read Somewhere) and you know, Cheney's had at least two DWI arrests. The Secret Service did not allow the local police to question him, either. So, you know. Do the math. Nonsensical story + history of DWI + hunting accident + a long enough time to sober up before going to the police = ??
The second question is why they waited to release the information for so long and why they chose to release it in the way that they did?
Other than the drying out period speculated above, it seems pretty clear that the guy was pretty seriously injured and the delay overnight was to find out if was gonna live. Let's face it - this would be a totally different story if the guy had died. So that's what the "details coming in through the night" that Scotty McPuffy was talking about must have been. They released it once they knew he was going to make it. Along with this theory is the given that this guy is more seriously injured than they are saying. Because if he's really awake and alert and fine and cracking jokes, why have we not seen him or gotten some kind of statement from him?
Put your tinfoil hats on and tell us any other theories you may have.
posted by chiniqua at 10:39 AM
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