About those riots

Let's talk for a minute about the cartoon riots.
First of all, cartoon riots? WTF?
Second of all, THEY'RE FUCKING CARTOONS. WTF???
Third, the Danes? Really? You hate the Danes? I mean, come on.

According to the paper of record, Iran (I think) is going to have a contest of offensive cartoons about the Holocaust. Gee guys, way to make your point. Anyway, says a paper that doesn't quite get it,

Does Western free speech allow working on issues like America and Israel's crimes or an incident like the Holocaust or is this freedom of speech only good for insulting the holy values of divine religions?" wrote the Iranian daily Hamshahri, according to the Reuters news agency.

OK. You know what Hamshahri? I am willing to bet you a lot, like as much as your trade balance with Denmark, that yes, there will be people really really offended. I bet there will be people demanding an apology, which I am equally sure you will not give. Despite the fact that the Danish newspaper totally apologized right away. Beyond that, I am 100% sure that THERE WILL BE NO RIOTS. Rabbis will not be on the radio calling for the assasination of any Iranian citizens who happen to be in the wrong country. Death to Christiane Amanpour? I think not.
And then The Guardian gives us this:

The furious international row over the publication of cartoons satirising the prophet Muhammad intensified today when Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, claimed it was an Israeli conspiracy motivated by anger over Hamas's win in the Palestinian elections.

Um, yeah. NO. Just fucking no. I don't doubt that there are a lot of nasty things going on in the name of zionism, but no. And I'm pretty sure the Israelis don't control the Danish press. But then what do I know.

So the thing is, as we have discussed here at HQ, it's not really about West vs. East. Well, it is, sort of. And I buy into a little bit of that values vs. free speech thing. Furthermore, to look at this critically, there is a reason why people in the Middle East are pissed (and Africa and Asia etc.) and it is because our culture and our countries have fucked them and left them with very little to feel good about. And now we're shitting on what they have left. So yeah, there are reasons, maybe even good ones, for the anger.

And furthermore, I know there's a lot of talk about the angry and power hungry politicians in Mid East stirring the people up about this and fomenting the riots. And that's just effing sad because people are hello, dying.

But I see it about something else. It's about having a sense of humor about yourself vs. being an asshole. It's about understanding irony vs. not. It's about sarcasm vs. totally deadly earnestness. So those are the lines I am going to draw, and I don't care where you are from or what you believe. Me and my peeps are gonna be on one side, sarcastic, ironic, funny and free. Everyone else can leave. Me & George Clooney and Marilyn Manson and Dave Eggers and damn, even Bush the Father, vs. all the idealogues and zealots and un-ironists. I don't care if you're Ali Khamenei or James Dobson. You are OUT.

Any culture (country/religion etc.) that cannot take a few jabs, that responds to criticism (especially in cartoon form. It's satire, folks!) with "YOU MUST DIE" is not a mature one. It's not feeling too good about itself. It knows it doesn't have much of a leg to stand on. That goes for us and our "if you question illegal wiretapping you are a terrorist" and it goes for them and their "make fun of the Prophet and die." It is a sign of core weakenss.

So I say, viva playfulness and even ill-judged humor. You're all too easily offended.

I didn't realize it when I started this post, but now I do. What I'm talking about is postmodernism. Long may she live.